Title: "Jack's Angels IV:  The Case of The Missing Heiress" Chapter 8
Author: wanda1969
Rating: PG- I don't think there's anything dodgy in here

Spoilers:  Can’t think of any??
Summary: Torchwood characters shoehorned into a rather unexciting Charlie's Angels adventure! No Charlie's Angels characters in this though! I own none of the characters in this-  I have only borrowed these characters from the BBC. And Charlie’s Angels as a concept.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who's kept up with this even through the 6/7 months when it was put on hold!

Chapter List for the whole series:


Chapter 8


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Title: "Jack's Angels II"
Author: wanda1969
Rating: PG- I don't think there's anything dodgy in here
Summary: Torchwood characters shoehorned into a rather unexciting Charlie's Angels adventure! No Charlie's Angels characters in this though!
A/N: This fic is  gwen-bashing
I had never written any fiction (or, indeed, posted anything at all on the internet) until recently when I posted Jack's Angels for AGA. Some very, very overwhelmingly kind comments have resulted in this sequel! I meant to post this sooner, but, you know, real life ie work getsin the way......
This is completely unedited or corrected by anyone but me! So any mistakes are my own. PS despite working with (not part of) the police, I have no idea about UK police hierarchy, so I suspect I may have my ranks wrong! Hey ho! In 2 parts due to livejournal saying my post was too big!

Jack's Angels II: The Unfortunate Return of Gwen Williams.

Part 2


It was 10 am on Saturday morning and Jack and the two Angels (and Ianto) were meeting at Torchwood Villa. Gwen had called and insisted she was ready to return to work after her miraculous recovery. Ianto had told her to call around at 11 am; he and Jack had decided that that would give them enough time to go over the Council case before she arrived.

“Hi there,  Angels! What have you got for me?” Jack grinned sitting down on the empty Chesterfield sofa, giving Tosh and Johnson a wink as they sipped at their coffees.

Tosh was first. “Hart. All the files I downloaded point to the funds going missing whenever he’s been the one signing the monies off. And then the funds just disappear. And he’s been looking...shifty. The office went to the pub last night, and he spent quite a bit of the night on his mobile, and he looked far from happy. He got a text at about 8, 8.30 and his face looked like thunder, kept looking at me.”

She continued, “I walked home, but couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was following me. You know- footsteps and stuff. Every time I turned round I couldn’t see any sign of anyone. I’ve had the flat completely deadlocked all night. And I came here the long way round, checked I wasn’t being followed”

“Grey spent a lot of time on his ‘phone. Disappeared back to the office just before 8 and came back just after 8.30...” Johnson interrupted. “And we’ve already noticed he doesn’t let anyone else deal with Hart’s files....”

Jack smirked at Tosh, trying to make light of the situation, “What do you reckon, Toshiko? A secret admirer, or do you think someone, possibly Hart, is on to you?”

“Wouldn’t  suprise me, Jack. Whoever deleted the files is good. Good enough to put in alerts, I think, in case anyone accessed the hard drive and the files...”

“So you could be under threat?” Jack paused, “And whether it’s Hart, or somebody else, I’m guessing that, because you’re not a permanent employee they think they could get to you and it wouldn’t be too noticeable. Hell! If they go for it this weekend, they can just say you didn’t turn up for the second week....frighten you off...”

“We need to keep you under surveillance this weekend, Tosh,” said Ianto as he glanced between Jack and Johnson.

IF,” Johnson said, “they ARE on to Tosh, we’ll need to keep an eye on them both.  I can’t see Hart being the heavy in this, though. He’s more likely to let Grey do the dirty work. I could keep an eye on Hart- I’m convinced that it’s Grey we have to worry about.”

 “Well, that means that Ianto and me can do part of the surveillance and...” Jack started as the doorbell rang. “That’ll be Gwen.”

There were sharp intakes of breath around the library as Ianto stood and left the room to answer the door, and Johnson muttered out loud, “Hell!”

Moments later, Ianto showed Gwen into the room, opening the door and gesturing for her to walk through.

She glanced round the room exclaiming, “Ooh, Tosh, Johnson, Ianto- it’s so good to be back!” before her eyes, going wide, settled on Jack. “And it’s nice to see you again, Jack!”

Ianto rolled his eyes before perching on the back of Tosh and Johnson’s sofa. He noticed that Gwen had excelled herself; she was wearing tight black jeans and knee length, five inch heeled boots and possibly one of the lowest cut, figure hugging T-shirts that he’d ever seen her wear. She plonked herself down on the vacant seat next to Jack, just as she had a few days earlier.

“It’s just so great to be back, and now you all seem to be working so closely together...looks like things have got a lot...better since I left!” she turned herself towards Jack and grinned. Secretly, Ianto felt it was more like a grimace.

“Now Gwen, you’ve been out of the business for some time. I think it’s wise that you take things slowly. You know, less of the action part of the job...more of the planning and liaison.” Jack glanced at the Angels, who were gritting their teeth, much as Ianto had done when he’d found out a few days earlier that Mrs Williams’ memory had returned. 

“Jack, I feel perfectly alright,” she purred, “I know, you’re worried about me but it feels like I’ve never been away.”

“Well, you’re going to have to take it easy. We’re going to have to see how you react to coming back.” He paused, “We’ve got a case at the moment- Ianto and I are keeping Tosh under surveillance this weekend. You could join us but we’re gonna have to keep an eye on you, just to make sure you’re OK.”

Ianto quickly interrupted. “Jack, why don’t Gwen and I pair up for the stakeout? We can help each other out.” From his point of view it was infinitely better for him to be paired with the policewoman. The way she was looking at Jack, he would be much happier if Gwen was with him, rather than Jack, whatever his feeling about spending a day confined in the Torchwood transit with her.  Ianto saw the palpable disappointment on Gwen’s face.

There was something akin to relief on Jack’s face before he smiled and spoke. “Excellent idea, Yan! How was Rhys about you coming back? Because you could join us this afternoon- it could take the weekend, though, before we’re sure Tosh is safe.”

“No problem, Jack, I’ve spoken to Rhys. He’s happy for me to get back to work. To something I enjoy. That I’m good at!”

At least three people in the room took a sharp intake of breath...Gwen’s eyes hadn’t moved from Jack’s.

“’Phone him, Gwen. I’m not having Rhys worrying about you. If you do come back today, he’ll have no idea where you are!”

Gwen pouted slightly and removed her ‘phone from her back pocket  as she left the room and made her way to the hall to call her husband.

“Well at least I’m watching Hart,” Johnson grinned, before she looked pityingly over at the Torchwood co-ordinator, “unlike poor Ianto...”

“Someone’s got to do it.....” he trailed off as Gwen re-entered the room.

“Well, that’s sorted,” she said brightly, and she placed herself back on the couch next to Jack.


Ch 7

Ianto had been sitting in the Transit van (emblazoned with the legend ‘Penarth Plumbing’) with Gwen since just before 1 o’clock that afternoon. It was now close to 10 o’clock. The nine hours had passed painfully slowly. The only respite had been when Ianto had had to quickly excuse himself to go to the nearby Starbucks to use the loo and buy their (rather substandard, in his view) coffee. They’d eaten a couple of sandwiches each, and he’d listened to Gwen explain how her skills just hadn’t been appreciated over at Bridgend. He’d also had to endure her constant texting to Rhys during which she took absolutely no notice of Tosh’s flat and the surrounding streets. To some extent, Ianto couldn’t complain. Every half hour or so, he himself had been receiving some rather suggestive texts from Jack, in addition to the bluetooth team communications from Jack who was stationed outside Grey’s house in what  appeared to be (to the untutored eye) a clapped-out  Cortina.

She eventually paused. “So, how long has Jack been back in Cardiff?”

“Not sure.....five months, maybe six...I think.”

Gwen looked thoughtful, before she smiled, “So he was probably just coming back over when I had my accident.  Probably to get to meet m........us all?”

“Maybe,” he dissembled.

“He’s younger than I expected,” she said dreamily. “And more...dashing. Heck, he’s damned good looking!” There was another pause. “Bet he’s got loads of women after him. Has he got a girlfriend, do you know?”

Ianto wasn’t sure what to say, “Not really my place to say. I don’t know....”

Luckily, or unluckily, it was at that moment that Jack hissed through the headset. “Grey’s left the house and he’s driving off. I’ll follow him. If we’re right, I’ll be seeing you two shortly.”

They were right. Quarter of an hour later Grey pulled up in Tosh’s street, several buildings down from her block of flats. He locked his car and made his way to the main door and pulled some kind of master key from his pocket. He glanced around swiftly, before opening the door and slipping inside the building.

Ianto retrieved the security fob and spare keys for Tosh’s flat from his waistcoat pocket as he opened the transit’s back door. “Come on Gwen!” He looked back. Gwen was smoothing down her T-shirt and checking her liquid eye-liner in a compact mirror- ‘’Bloody hell’, he thought, ‘things are back to bloody normal then.”

“Come on- Tosh could be in danger!”

Jack joined them at the front door and whispered, “Right. If he is going to Tosh’s, and it’s far too much of a coincidence for him NOT to be, we need to get as much evidence as possible from the bugs in her flat, before we go in there. Just wait for my signal when we get up there.” Jack moved his hand to his earpiece, flicked a switch, connected a wire and pressed ‘record’ on his MP3 player, before relaying a last message to Tosh, and routing the signal from the mics in her flat to Gwen and Ianto.

“Tosh? Grey’s on his way up- remove your earpiece and get ready. We’re right behind him. Get him worried. We need him to confess.”

As the three of them made their way upstairs to Tosh’s floor, Jack could hear Tosh answering her door.

Toshiko Sato?”

“Yes. Who are you? What do you want? It’s past 10 o’clock.”

“DI Grey, Cardiff police. Can I come in? I have a few routine questions to ask you about a case we’re working on at the moment?”

“Ooh...oh..yes. Come in,” Tosh said feigning surprise.

Jack could hear the door the door chain being undone and then the front door closing behind them as Tosh showed Grey into her flat.


“What can I do to help you... DI Grey, wasn’t it?”

“Well... Is it right you’ve been temping at Cardiff Town Hall in the accounts department, Miss Sato?”

“We’ve been investigating a case of fraud there, and I need to ask if you’ve noticed anything untoward while you’ve been there.”

Tosh tried to sound as nervous as possible as she replied, “Well, actually...yes. I...I think one of the senior officers’ accounts don’t...don’t look right.”

“And you have any idea about which officer this may be?”

“Yes, yes, I do. I think it may well be...well I think it could be Deputy Chief Executive...”

“I thought so,” Grey paused. “Well.....we can’t have that...”

“Oh no, DI Grey, I agree. It’s quite obviously embezzlement....”

“Oh yes, but that’s not quite what I meant.” There was another pause before he continued, “What I actually meant was that, I’m afraid, we can’t have this information out in the open...”

“What DO you mean?”

“Well, you see, I have a lot.... shall we say, invested ...in the Chief Exec’s...activities. And I’m not sure I can allow this information to get out.”

“Oh my God! You’re in on this! With Hart!” Tosh said trying to sound as surprised as she could, “But...but...why?

“Exactly how much do you think Cardiff Police pay these days?” he laughed. “And, Christ, does it ever stop raining here?”

DI Grey reached into his jacket pocket and withdrew a pistol, pointing it at Toshiko

“Oh God...”

“I’m afraid, Toshiko Sato, you’re a very bright one...and I’m not sure I can have you around to spoil my plans. Come on you’re leaving with me....”

“Jack he’s got a gun!”

“That won’t work Miss Sato, I’ve been watching you...you’re alone in here....”


Out on the landing Jack and Ianto were ready on either side of Tosh’s door, weapons in hand. Jack had his favoured Webley, and Ianto held a stun gun (he wasn’t that keen on guns even though he was an excellent shot). Gwen, too, carried a stun gun; considering Gwen’s ‘amnesia’ it had been decided that she shouldn’t be fully armed (if ever, in Ianto’s opinion) until the team was sure she had fully recovered. Jones reflected that this was probably a good thing, as he looked over at Gwen. She was flat against the wall, as close as Ianto thought physically possible, seemingly oblivious to the conversation going on through her earpiece. Instead, she was gazing at Jack with undisguised admiration.

“Jack he’s got a gun..”

“That won’t work Miss Sato, I’ve been watching you...you’re alone in here....”

Jack was galvanised into action. “Right- we’re going in. Me and Ianto first. Usual drill, Ianto. Gwen bring up the rear,” he ordered under his breath as he shouldered the door open, weapon in front of him.

“Yeah, you’re right there, Grey. Miss Sato is alone in here.” Grey turned round to face Jack moving to point his pistol at Jack, “But she’s certainly not alone in this. Put the weapon down, Grey- you’re outnumbered.”

As Grey’s eyes flickered between the two armed men, and one armed woman, in front of him, the arm holding the pistol wavered between them all.  Ianto saw his chance and quickly moved past Jack, and before the Detective Inspector could react, hit him against the temple with the butt of his stun gun, and wrestled the pistol out of Grey’s hand.

“Good work, Ianto!” Jack said admiringly. “Never underestimate Ianto!” he thought to himself, smiling.

Ianto handed the pistol to Gwen. At that moment, Gwen’s mobile rang. “Oh! It’s Rhys! I’d better tell him I won’t be long!” she said as she answered her ‘phone, placing the gun, and her own stun gun, on a nearby table.

“Hello, Rhys, love! No...everything’s OK.....,” she said and she turned away to take the call.

“What the fuck, Gwen...” seethed Ianto.

Grey saw his chance. He pushed Ianto off him, pulled himself up and reached for the pistol, muttering, “Shit! You lot really are a bunch of amateurs...”

Luckily the policeman was so pleased with himself that he didn’t notice Tosh grab Gwen’s stun gun, place it to the back of his head and pull the trigger. Grey drooped to the floor as Jack rushed forward and hand-cuffed him.

“...oh, I’d better go Rhys...see you later.” It had all happened so quickly that Gwen only caught the tail end of the action as she hung up.

“What the hell do you think you were doi....”

Ianto cut off Tosh as he brought a hand up and rubbed at his temples; he really didn’t need an argument right now. That could have been too close.  “What say we discuss this later? Or in team brief?”


Johnson was watching John Hart’s house. The gardens were large and afforded the house a certain amount of privacy; it was situated in the kind of area where residents didn’t feel they had to draw the curtains. She had watched as in turn, the Chief Executive paced back and forth in his sitting room in between working on his laptop. He looked like he was waiting for something, for someone.

Her earpiece crackled- the last communication she’d had from the rest of the team had been from Jack telling her that Grey was on his way to Toshiko’s as he parked up in her street.

Johnson we’re all sorted here. Gwen and Ianto are on their way to Cardiff Police station with Grey We’ve got him banged to rights with what we’ve recorded. How’s it going there?”

“Fine, fine. Hart seems agitated though.”

“I’ll be with you in about twenty minutes. You can approach him first...say Grey’s sent you. After all you’ve got the badge!! Then I’ll back you up. I can’t see that he’ll be armed so we shouldn’t have a problem.”

“Sounds like a plan, Jack. I’ll see you in twenty, then!”


Twenty five minutes later, Johnson stood at John Hart’s porch and rang the bell, one hand held forward holding her (admittedly fake) police badge. Jack was out of sight back pressed against the wall to the right of the front door, gun at the ready. Just in case.

Hart stepped out into the porch and scanned the police badge through the glass of the outer door, before opening up. As they’d suspected he wasn’t carrying a gun; after all, he was a white collar criminal.

“Can I help you?” he said.

“Detective Johnson, I work with DI Grey. He sent me to say that everything’s sorted...”

Jack moved into his sightline and spoke, “Hart, I’m sorry but we’re going to have to take you to the police station- we have Grey and he’s told us everything.”

John Hart looked as if he was about to run, but he didn’t know where to.

“It’s no use, Hart. We know everything.” He withdrew his Webley and gestured. “And you won’t get away. Don’t make me use this.”

For a moment the Deputy Chief Executive looked as if he was going to make a move, but then he sagged against the doorframe and sank to the floor, head in his hands.


Ch 8

It was noon the next day and Ianto Jones sat back leaning on several large pillows which were cushioning him against the large wooden bedstead, a copy of ‘The Sunday Times’ and a pen in his hands. He reached over to the bedside table and picked up his coffee.

Jack lay next to him,  propped up on his right arm, staring intently at Ianto.

“And what I’d like to know, Ianto, is exactly why you’re sat there doing ‘The Sunday Times’ so-called ‘Fiendish’ Su Doku, instead of me?”

Ianto dragged his attention away from the puzzle, “It concentrates the mind, Jack,” he said indulgently and grinned, “Later.....perhaps....”

“Seriously though, what are we going to do about Gwen? She really is a liability...that phone call...it could have been so much worse...” he sighed and hauled himself up into a sitting position and grabbed his coffee from his bedside table.

“Team brief is tomorrow, Monday, and I’ve asked Johnson and Tosh to be here a couple of hours early...we really all need to talk about this.”

“I think you were right, Ianto. The best option is to keep Gwen on client liaison and research duties...but that leaves us one down in the field.”

“I know what you mean...but we were always one down when you weren’t involved. And I’m not always out there helping.  I think we could do with someone else as well. We can keep Gwen doing the background work. She’s shown an extraordinary capacity for resisting the Retcon; I don’t think we can get rid of her. Johnson says it’s pretty unusual, and she’s seen it used umpteen times at UNIT.” He paused and snorted out a laugh, “At least we know it hasn’t done her any damage, though. She’s still as incompetent as she ever was!”

“Ianto Jones! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you can be remarkably bitchy when you want to be!...Anyway, let’s leave this ‘til tomorrow.” Jack put his empty cup back on the table before turning back to Ianto. “By the way, is it later yet?”

“Could be......” Ianto smiled, placing his own cup and the pen on the bedside table before rather carelessly throwing his copy of the Sunday Times onto the floor and turning to Jack.


Ch 9

Monday lunchtime, Torchwood Villa.

“I know, I know, Tosh. That ‘phone call of Gwen’s could have caused complete disaster...But it’s happened now and we need to make sure it doesn’t happen again. We’re in an almost Catch 22 situation...As Johnson has pointed out, Gwen seems to be able to resist Retcon...”

“Which is a miracle in itself...UNIT’s studies show it’s usually only those with a very high IQ who manage to do that!!” Johnson interrupted sarcastically.

Tosh laughed. “Obviously not the case here, then!”

Even Jack bit back a laugh.

“Well, back to the realities of this situation. Ianto has suggested that we put Gwen on Liaison and Research Duties with the excuse that we need to keep her under supervision and out of the line of fire... and we tell her that it’s the ideal job for her ‘people skills’.”

“And it keeps her away from causing complete mayhem...” Ianto chimed in.

“That may well be the case, Yan.” Ianto shuddered a little at the use of his pet name. “But I reckon we need an extra pair of hands to make up for Gwen’s ‘office job’. Whaddya think, guys? There are times that I won’t be able to be here to cover.”

“Could be a good idea...what do you have in mind?” Tosh asked. Johnson nodded in agreement.

“There are a few possibilities. PC Andy Davidson is well aware of our work. I was a bit worried at first, but Ianto has been chatting informally with him and, believe me he is NOT in awe of Gwen! In fact, he’s been more than a bit put out. He thinks, quite possibly rightly, that being partnered with Gwen has hampered his career with the police!”

Johnson started to mutter, “Quite understandable...”

“I’ve always thought he was very sweet, and more than discreet. And he’s pretty bright, too...” said Tosh. “...not to mention quite cute....”

“So, are we agreed on this? And we’ll at least look into Andy?”

Johnson, Tosh and Ianto all nodded in agreement as they heard the front door intercom buzz.


“Morning everyone!” Gwen enthused as she entered the room. “What a weekend! Mind you, it’s great to be back!”

Yet again, she spied a spare seat between Jack and Ianto who were sat at opposite ends of one of the Chesterfields. She squeezed herself into the space. “So what’s happening?”

“Well, Gwen, we’ve just started,” Jack lied and decided to cut straight to the chase. “But, of course we’re all worried about you after the amnesia.....Actually, since you just seem to relate to people, I was wondering if you would be interested in the role of Client Liaison and Research? It would really use your people skills, Gwen, You’d be really great at it and I think you’d excel...”

Gwen grinned at him, eyes almost popping out of her head at the compliment. “Jack...if you think I’m up to it...yes!”

“It would mean less field work, but I think you’re the right person for the job.”

Gwen, yet again was insensible to the underlying message behind Jack’s words. Jack  also sensed that she was completely uninterested in any discussion about Saturday night’s events or exactly why she’d left her mobile on during an operation, never mind answered it. “Well,” he decided, “at least this way we get her away from any field work! After all, she’ll never comprehend how she compromised the operation....”

“Great! Now why don’t you go and tell Rhys the news! No pay rise though, I’m afraid!”

“Oh, thankyou!” she said shooting Jack a significant look before shaking herself back into reality and getting to her feet. “Yes, yes, I should go and tell Rhys the good news!”

With that she said “Goodbye, See you all!” with a cheery and self satisfied look at them all, before sweeping out through the library door.

“See you, Gwen!” They all spoke at more or less the same time before letting out a collective sigh as the door closed.

Tosh was the first to speak, “Well, then, Jack...looks like you pulled that one off!”

“It wasn’t exactly a surprise, Tosh. She’s never been the most perceptive of people!” Johnson said.

“Now that’s sorted, how about a celebratory lunch and a few drinks at ‘The Red Lion’, everyone?” Ianto asked with a smile.

“Yeah!” three voices chorused.



Title: "Jack's Angels II"
Author: wanda1969
Rating: PG- I don't think there's anything dodgy in here
Summary: Torchwood characters shoehorned into a rather unexciting Charlie's Angels adventure! No Charlie's Angels characters in this though!
A/N: This fic is  gwen-bashing
I had never written any fiction (or, indeed, posted anything at all on the internet) until recently when I posted Jack's Angels for AGA. Some very, very overwhelmingly kind comments have resulted in this sequel! I meant to post this sooner, but, you know, real life ie work getsin the way......
This is completely unedited or corrected by anyone but me! So any mistakes are my own. PS despite working with (not part of) the police, I have no idea about UK police hierarchy, so I suspect I may have my ranks wrong! Hey ho!

Jack’s Angels  II

“The Unfortunate Return of Gwen Willliams”

Part I




It had been close to 6 months since Jack and Angels (not forgetting Ianto Jones, Torchwood administrator extraordinaire, and some time ‘Angel’) had solved the case at “The Farm”, otherwise known as Buwith Health Spa. Life at the Torchwood Agency and with the Angels had evolved into a much more relaxed affair since Gwen Williams’ unfortunate bout of amnesia. Jack had become more involved, actively working on cases; the team had even had several ‘team’ nights out. Briefings were relaxed and, after so long working with each other, Jack, Tosh, Johnson and Ianto had finally become almost friendly!

Jack had been more than reluctant to recruit another team member hastily, though; After Gwen (sometimes jokingly known as A.G. at the Agency), Jack was keen to make sure that any replacement was at least skilled in undercover work and could work as a valued team member, and he’d looked at several possibilities. Jack had even deviated from his norm and considered a male Angel- PC Andy Davidson of the Cardiff Police had shown himself to be reliable, but his past association with Gwen was a worry. He was still keeping his eye on three candidates and Ianto was providing him with yet more background checks and details of their personal lives- After Gwen, the team were looking for a colleague with a bit more restraint. It would be a definite plus point if the new team member could control themselves to the point of not sleeping with the suspects....


Meanwhile, Gwen Williams had been returned to Rhys with acute, irreversible amnesia after the Buwith Health Spa incident, with no memory of the last two years that she had spent working with the Angels. Uncharacteristically for Gwen, she had said little to her husband about her job during the last two years; he was only aware that she had been working for a private detection agency after she left the police, and he’d never met anyone she worked with..... and the Torchwood Private Detection Agency was hardly the kind of business that advertised in the Yellow Pages- it relied on ‘word of mouth’. Even looking at her past bank statements,  Gwen had found that it was impossible to see where her wages had originated; they’d been paid into her account via an anonymous offshore account.

Once she’d been given the all-clear by her doctors she had reapplied for the police, but was now (luckily for Torchwood) working in Bridgend. It was an irritating commute on the M4 but little did she realise that, on her return to the force, her ex-boss, Chief Constable Swanson had recommended her for the post.....



Ch 1

It was 10 am on a Tuesday morning  and Johnson and Toshiko, the two remaining Angels, were sat in the library of Torchwood Villa waiting for their latest assignment. Ianto Jones was handing out their coffees, when Jack Harkness, their once reclusive employer, entered the room. Silently, Ianto handed him his favourite blend of industrial strength black coffee (no sugar).

“Mm....As fabulous as usual, Ianto!” Jack smiled at him affectionately, before turning to Tosh and Johnson.

“And talking about fabulous...how are you two? I hope you’ve had some R ‘n’R since the last case? You’re both looking irresistible!” he said with a grin.

“Raring to go Jack,” Johnson said enthusiastically.

“And you, Tosh?”

“Oh, yes! I’ve had a great time off. How about you?” She looked between Jack and Ianto.

“Yeah!” he smiled, “ ...and ready for our next case...And it’s just good, ‘ole’ Cardiff”

Tosh and Johnson looked at each other.

“Yep. Nowhere exotic, I’m afraid,” he said as he sank onto the Chesterfield with his coffee. “ We’ve been contacted by Cardiff Council and the South Wales Police.”

The Angels looked at him expectantly as Ianto settled into his chair behind the large antique desk.

“Well....Recently, the government auditors have been to visit Cardiff Council to check the end of year accounts. This year, however, there appears to be over £2 million pounds missing from the Council coffers... Seems to have started about two years ago, but we have no hard proof. As you can imagine, the Council hasn’t wanted to advertise this- disgruntled ratepayers in these hard times, if you’re getting my drift. So the Council called in Cardiff Police, and the Fraud Squad. On the quiet, that is.” He paused, before continuing, “So, at 2 o’clock today, Ianto and I have meeting with the very lovely Chief Constable Swanson- she’s drawn a blank, even after calling in the Fraud Squad and looking into the Council’s accounts. Reading between the lines, though, I reckon we’re looking at you, Tosh and Johnson, going undercover with the Council and the Fraud Squad....”


Jack and Ianto were standing at the front desk at Cardiff Central Police Station, waiting for their 2pm appointment.

Chief Constable Kathy Swanson arrived. “Glad to see you both again Captain Harkness, Mr Jones.” Jack had been in the army in the US and sometimes used his old rank in order to bypass the usual protocols...

“And you too, Chief Constable....and, may I say, you are looking remarkably delicious today?”

“Captain Harkness, as you must know by now, flattery will get you absolutely nowhere... why don’t we all go through to my office?” She stifled a smile. She knew she shouldn’t, but she found Harkness’ cheesy flirting amusing.


Swanson leaned back in her seat, fingers steepled together as her elbows rested on the chair arms. “So, as you can see, my investigations are at a bit of an impasse...the Fraud Squad’s top computer expert  says there is no evidence at the Chief Executive Offices at the Council of where these funds have gone to...and The Fraud Squad are saying that they can’t see any anomalies in the accounting records.”

“We need someone inside the Chief Exec’s Council Accounts Department-someone good. And your Miss Sato fits the bill. And I have some quite worrying suspicions about the Fraud Squad - someone’s in on this. They can’t find anything- and there’s five of them on this. We need someone to observe them- I can’t believe that amount of money can go missing without Fraud noticing.....so I need someone on the inside here, too. It’s a clear case of embezzlement....but we have NO evidence at all,” she said, exasperatedly.

“Mm...So one of us gets to wear a uniform..?” Jack jokingly mused, then smiled flirtily and looked over to Ianto, winking.

Jack...!” Ianto warned and then quickly continued. “ Anyway.....Everyone here at the station has seen me and Jack- so I suggest that while Tosh goes undercover at Cardiff Council,  Johnson can be ‘seconded’ to the Fraud Squad, here at the station.....How soon could we get them sorted?”

“Don’t you just love him when he’s masterful?!” Jack laughed, eyes twinkling.

“Well that was really... ‘Quite Interesting’......,” thought the policewoman, as  she looked at the two men.

“Well, Mr Jones.....” Swanson said, “We can get Johnson into the station, and I’m sure I can pull a few strings at the Council  and get Miss Sato started, asap, at the Council as an accounting Temp- would tomorrow be OK, provisionally?”


Swanson was true to her word and, by 4pm that very day, she’d got a temporary position in the Chief Exec’s Department organised for Tosh, via a local recruitment agency, and told the Fraud Squad’s existing Officers to expect a seconded Officer first thing in the morning....

There was still time to brief the Angels at the end of the afternoon.





At half eight sharp the next day, Tosh arrived at Cardiff Town Hall, and reported to the Chief Executive’s department, and set about getting to know her new colleagues over a cup of coffee that she couldn’t help but compare disfavourably with one of Ianto’s orgasmic brews.

She sat down at her PC and reached into her handbag, retrieving a small device which she slipped into the USB port.....


Johnson walked into Cardiff Central the same day, met with Swanson and was introduced to the Central Wales Fraud Squad . It was like an ‘Old Boys’ network’ circa 1975. Not that she minded- she’d worked in UNIT for years, and after Gwen (A.G.), and the reappearance of Jack she’d been enjoying working in a more male environment. No talk of ‘child care issues’ and one heck of a lot of banter. So far she’d met four of her new colleagues, .

She heard a voice behind her, “Mmm...Nice to see a new face around here! And where have you been hiding yourself? Detective Inspector Adam Grey. Detective Johnson, isn’t it?”

Johnson nodded and held out her hand “Good to meet you, DI Grey.”

 Grey shook her hand vigorously, a smirk on his face, “Perhaps we can meet up later at the pub with the guys and have a chat?”

“Perhaps...First things first...tell me more about the case. You’re all ahead of me on this, and I’ve got a lot of catching up to do....”


Tosh found the day almost interminable, she’d never been one for that ‘office-y feel’, but was glad to find that most of the other “accountants” were female- so, come 4 o’clock, she was all but alone as they left to pick up their children from nurseries across Cardiff. She managed another hour or so checking as many of the Council’s large budget records as she could before she heard footsteps and quickly minimised her windows and removed a device which looked suspiciously like an everyday memory stick. In fact, it not only allowed her to copy and store files, but also helped her to bypass passwords on her new colleagues’ accounts.

“So how was your first day, Toshiko Sato?”

Tosh looked up to find the Council’s Deputy Chief Executive, John Hart, perching on the edge of her desk, smiling at her. There was something distinctly discomforting about that smile, though.

“You know what first days are like!” she laughed. “I’m not even sure I remember where the canteen is yet, never mind remember everyone’s names!”

“It’s nice to see a new face around here, especially such a pretty one,” he grinned. “I think you’ll fit in here just fine, Toshiko”

“I hope so- these days even temping is difficult...what with the cut-backs and everything...”

“Well, we like to make everyone welcome here- fancy a drink?”

“Perhaps not tonight, Mr Hart, I’m absolutely exhausted.”

“Call me John, Toshiko”

“It’s been pretty tiring, what with it being my first day...so many people to meet...maybe later in the week?”

“We’ve got a work’s trip to the pub on Friday...why not pop it in your diary?” he said as pushed himself up and off the desk. “See you tomorrow, Toshiko!”

“Will do she said as cheerily as she could- there was most definitely something unnerving about John Hart...


Johnson finished her first day, and quietly slipped off to Kathy Swanson’s office

“...So I haven’t got anything on any of them, yet. But I’m not sure about Adam Grey...that man is...slimy...”

“I know what you mean. I get exactly the same feeling,” Swanson shuddered as they walked towards the main foyer from her office.

At that point they both stood frozen to the spot.

“Oh shit!” they both muttered under their breaths in unison, quickly turning to each other before looking back towards two police constables who were escorting a suspect into the station.

The WPC looked up at them both, a look of confusion on her face as she nodded her head and acknowledged her superior, nodding her head. “Chief Constable Swanson”.

It was WPC Gwen Williams and PC Dafydd Evans escorting a suspect from Bridgend. Williams briefly glanced back at both women, her eyes bulging from their sockets; Johnson could almost see cogs whirring in the policewoman’s head. It was a look that Johnson remembered well from her time in UNIT- even though she only remembered seeing it once. A strange look of confused remembrance. Williams had seen Johnson.....

The Chief Constable and Johnson both let out a sigh of relief as the Bridgend police and their suspect walked down the corridor and out of sight.

Johnson laughed. “Well, it sounds like you were as glad to see the back of Gwen Williams as Torchwood was!”

It was the first time Johnson had ever seen Swanson so candid or human, as she said, “You’re not joking! We had a station celebratory trip to the pub the week after she left to join you lot! Have you any idea how much Cardiff Central reduced sick leave after she left? Three of her ex-partners returned from long-term sick after she left. Our street crime detection figures soared. We even reached our Home Office targets for the first time since she started. Not to mention the fact that problems with inter-office relationships decreased....”

The Angel stifled a smirk as she replied, “So it wasn’t just us then?!”

“God, no! If she’d managed to get back into Cardiff, I think I would have been trying to sort out a full-scale rebellion in the station!”


When, she’d said goodbye to Kathy Swanson, Johnson waited until she was inside her car, before pulling her mobile out of her bag.

“Jack...Its Johnson here....I’ve just seen Williams...I was with Swanson....at Cardiff Central.....she looked like she’s starting to remember... She might be triggering.”




Ch 3

Gwen Williams felt as if her head was about to explode. It was as if a million memories were forcing themselves into a space far too small to accommodate them...

As soon as she and her fellow police officer had handed over their suspect, she ran out of the station, leaving a surprised Dafydd Evans staring after her...


Back at Torchwood Villa, Jack and Ianto had received a first day report from Toshiko, who’d gone back home, with her memory stick. Knowing Tosh, she’d be poring over the records that she’d downloaded all evening.

More worrying was Johnson’s ‘phone call. It became even more worrying when, at around 10pm, the Torchwood security system alerted them to movement outside the Villa’s gates.

Accessing the CCTV feed, Ianto saw Gwen Williams stood outside the gates. She seemed indecisive and thoughtful as she looked through the gates at the mansion. After about an hour of walking backwards and forwards in front of them, she unclipped her police radio, spoke into it before purposely walking to her car and driving away.


“Somehow, Ianto, I don’t think we’ve seen the last of Gwen.”

“She found us quickly enough! She’s not going to let it lie, Jack. I’ve checked with Cardiff- she should have been on the late shift and on her way back to Bridgend after dropping off that suspect, but tomorrow’s her day off. Her shift’s finishing now and she’s off for three days...She’s going to be back- and sooner than we’d like...”

“Yeah....all of the information from UNIT points to us not being able to Retcon her again, at least not within a few years of the last dose. Their trials show that patients who were given that much Retcon  turned into gibbering imbeciles, basically...”

“And, pray tell, how would anyone tell the difference, Sir?”

“Ooh, bitchy, Ianto!” he laughed, “Although there are some ways in which I would have to agree with you. But we are NOT dealing with this now. It’s time for bed... and you know what it does to me when you call me ‘Sir’”

“And what does it do, Sir?”


Ch 4

The next day found both of the Angels back undercover in their respective jobs.

Tosh was getting to know her workmates. The day before, she had met Angharad Griffiths. Angharad had started work with Cardiff Council in 1972 as a bookkeeper and had since qualified as an accountant; she was now the longest serving member of staff in the department. In between her tales of bookkeeping before the technological age (“no doubt it involved a quill and parchment”, Tosh had thought to herself during the tea break), she was a mine of information about every member of staff that she’d ever worked with.

“...Hart, though...he’s a bit full of himself, isn’t he?” Tosh said, trying to drag Angharad’s anecdotes into the 21st century. “Cornered me when everyone else had left last night.”

“Oh, yes. He’s definately a one. Got an eye for the ladies, and anything else with a pulse, that one.... and the high life! House in Llandaff...and I hear he’s got a villa in Majorca. Fast cars and holidays in the Maldives and the Bahamas! You’d better watch out there, always looking out for the pretty young ones. Not like Ioan Rees, my first boss. Perfect gentleman he was....mind you, he was Welsh...”

Tosh quickly interrupted her before she started to reminisce again, “Well, I know he’s the Deputy, but, you know, he’s still working for the Council...surely he can’t earn that much?”

“Well, who knows? He’s not married. That’s got to save a bit! Might have family money, perhaps...?”

“When did he start work here?”

“About two years ago,” Angharad said, as Tosh made a mental note to investigate John Hart a little more thoroughly. Angharad started to reminisce again, “Anyway, they’re all ‘fly-by nights’ these days...not like when I started. It was a job for life, was a job with the Council.....”


Johnson pored over the files on her computer at the Fraud Squad’s commandeered office. She looked around at her new work mates, as they worked away. DI Grey was directing them all in the inquiry. She looked back at her files to see who had been assigned the files of the officers at the Chief Exec’s office;  Grey’s own main lines of enquiry had been centred on one John Hart. The other three Officers had been allocated other employees to investigate.....


Over at Torchwood Villa, Ianto was researching the backgrounds of the workers at the Council Offices, when a window popped up on the Apple screen. He flicked onto it, accessing the Villa’s CCTV feed. Gwen Williams was, again, outside the gates, indecisively hovering next to the intercom system. He picked up his mobile.

“Jack, I think you should come to the library- Gwen’s here again...”

Within a few minutes Jack was leaning over his shoulder, watching the feed.

“We’re gonna have to deal with this,” Jack said.

“Gwen’s never met you, Jack- when she finally gets the courage to buzz, do you want to be here?”

Jack laughed nervously, “ I guess I’m going to have to deal with it eventually- I’ll be here.”


It took another 45 minutes before the intercom buzzed and Ianto heard a crackly Welsh voice:

“Ianto? It’s Gwen here....It is Ianto... and Torchwood, isn’t it?”

“Yeah- come on in, I’ll meet you at the door,” he said  and then walked into the hallway and released the gates.


As he opened the door Gwen looked at him in relief.

“Ianto Jones!! I saw Johnson at the police station! I remember! The amnesia’s lifting...I’m starting to remember again!” She rushed forward and hugged Ianto. He winced; he wasn’t really into this amount of physical contact with his work colleagues.....unless, of course, they were Jack.

“Good news, Gwen!” he stammered.

“It’s so good to remember again!”

He released her. “Come on through to the library...things have changed since you left...”

As they entered the library, he saw that Gwen looked around, remembering the room. And then her eyes alighted on Jack.

“Ooh- a new recruit, by the looks of it!” She fixed wide eyes on him and smiled even more widely, before walking over and holding out her hand. “I’m Gwen Williams- things have definitely changed since I’ve been away...I think we needed another man about the place when I was here.”

“It isn’t a new recruit...” Ianto started as Jack nodded at him, ready to take over.

“Hello Gwen, my name is Jack Harkness, and,” he paused shaking her hand, “Until your...unfortunate accident...I was your boss. Of course, we never met in person... for various reasons.” There was no reason for Gwen to know the whys and wherefores of that, as far as he was concerned.

“Oh my God!” she almost shrieked, before Ianto saw realisation dawn on her face and she plonked herself down on the sofa next to Jack. A little too close, thought Ianto. “And to think we never met in person before!”

“Well...I was out of the country quite a bit until recently, but things have changed now,” the American lied, feeling the full onslaught of Gwen Williams’ so-called ‘charm’.

On her part, this was the best news she’d ever heard; she’d researched the owner of the Torchwood Agency when she was working there, but, boy, had she known he was this good-looking, as well as being one of the richest men living in England....well, she may have gone about things differently...

“Well, now I’m starting to remember, it’s only a matter of time before I’m back to my normal self. I can come back. I can join the team again! And it seems like Torchwood is more of a team now.” Her grin was almost predatory. Actually, Ianto thought, it WAS predatory. He gritted his teeth, and reflected that, for the last five or six months, he hadn’t had to grit his teeth. God, at this rate he was going to have to visit his dentist...

“Gwen, we’re going to have to see how you are. How you deal with this. It’s not an easy task coming back after...amnesia...you know. It’s only been a day or two from the way you’re acting. Give it time. See how it goes. Speak to Rhys. Does HE want you to come back? Think about it. Do YOU really want to come back to Torchwood? There were times in the last couple of years that this job interfered in your life more than working for the police...I don’t want you coming back to work here before you’ve thought this out. And I’ve thought it out.”

Gwen pouted, “I ‘spose so, it’s just that I remember everything again! I feel like I could come straight back...”

“Talk to Rhys....with the obvious proviso that you keep things vague. Any information about Torchwood that identifies me, Ianto or the Angels puts our entire undercover activities in jeopardy, Gwen...”

“I guess so...” The pout was there again.

“Get back home, now, see your husband...talk. And don’t come back here until you’ve had at least another day to talk to Rhys. Another FULL day. At least,” Jack continued.


“What are we gonna do about this?”

“Let’s sleep on it. We’ll talk about it tomorrow, Jack,” Ianto replied, as Jack started to relax.


The Angels assembled in the library at the beginning of the next day, before they had to assume their roles at the Council and at the Council.

Johnson was the first to speak.

“...No, the other four are just you average family men...go to work, do work, go home, think of the weekend. But DI Grey...not only is he really oily, and he’s trying to hit on me...well, he’s made sure that he is the only one investigating Deputy Chief Executive John Hart. No one else has been tasked with that investigation- they’re too busy looking at the minor players.”

“I can see where Johnson is going,” Tosh said. “Hart is a really slimy character. SO full of himself. Hits on all the temps- female OR male. One of the accountants tells me he was appointed about two years ago, when Swanson thinks the money started to go missing. My colleague tells me he has fast cars, a house in Majorca, exotic holidays and a pretty impressive house here in Cardiff. Not an issue in his post, but he hasn’t been working in this kind of job for very long. Add to that, HIS accounts are the most vague in the whole department...and he has some very impressive firewalls, and some very large, gaping lacunae”

“So, you think Hart and Grey are in cahoots, as it were?” Jack responded.

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Johnson interjected. “Down at the station, Grey is pretty much disliked. Again there’s exotic hols, and he always hits on the WPCs, apparently. And why would he NOT let anyone else investigate Hart?”

“Right. We’ll keep an eye on them both. But here’s something else that you should know. I know you warned us, Johnson, but Gwen came here today. She’s started to remember. She wants to come back.”

“Jesus’ SHIT!” the ex-UNIT officer shouted. “Jack! You can’t! We’re only just recovering from having her here!”

“I have to agree,” said Tosh. “We’ve all been working together properly since she...left. I’m not sure I can go back to that.”

“Look, Jack’s told her not to come back for a few days. They talked, face to face...and I certainly won’t let her back in Torchwood Villa until she’s thought about this. If she’s capable of thinking, that is.... We can’t Retcon her again. Not so soon.”

Tosh thought she could see the tension in Ianto. She had every belief that if Gwen had behaved in her old (usual) manner when she had met Jack, Ianto would be more than livid.

“Look, guys,” Jack interrupted, “we’ll find a way round this- don’t worry. Ianto is on to this...We can deal with it. The important thing for you two is to keep on the case until then.”

Johnson didn’t look convinced.

“One thought is that we allow her to feel involved, but make sure that’s she’s not around on the case to actually disrupt any of our enquiries....I guess there could be a few more other possibilities...Official Liaison Officer, office based, that kind of thing...” Ianto mused.


“Look, Johnson,” Ianto said, “You were with UNIT...you know that a further dose of Retcon could cause irrepairable damage rendering her....”

Jack suddenly interrupted, a wide grin on his face, “Wow! I just love that Welsh accent...all those consonants, all those ‘r’s – that was really almost quite alliterative, Ianto....”

“Jack!” There was an almost angry look on Ianto’s face, before Ianto looked upwards towards the ceiling, and then smiled at him indulgently. “We can pull this off- like I said, make sure that she’s not interfering in our operations. We’ll sort it, I’ll sort it....but first we need to sort out where Cardiff Council’s funding’s gone.”

“OK, OK!”

Johnson looked over at both of the men; the more she thought about it, there was definitely something going on there.  She thought back; the two men had been inseparable when they’d had their team outings. That was something that she really was going to keep an eye on. After all, amongst the Angels themselves (in house, that is), there wasn’t much gossip...not, of course, that she was one for gossip.


Ch 5

Friday morning

The end of the week had soon rolled around. At Cardiff Council, Toshiko was frustrated. She expected to be able to access any company’s computer records, and a Local Authority didn’t usually cause her any headaches.  She’d been working for several days on a programme which looked into deleted data, but, as yet, she’d been completely unable to find the missing information.

As the day wore on, her workmates were obviously  winding down to the weekend, mainly chatting about their plans- barbeques, parties and the Friday work’s visit to the “Glendower Arms”. As her colleagues continued to plan their early finish, Tosh finally saw a window pop up on her monitor.

“Deleted accounts found,” it read.

Tosh quickly scanned the records before saving them to her memory stick and wiping all traces of her search.  “Jeez! These people are thorough,” she thought to herself, considering what she’d just seen. The records all related to John Hart; the records had been completely wiped from the main system, but this was a serious cover-up. Someone else had to be involved.


Over at Cardiff Central, Adam Grey’s mobile buzzed. He hurried out from the main enquiry room to the main corridor to take the call, while Johnson looked on.

She could see him through the glass upper half of the door. The conversation looked heated as Grey paced backwards and forwards before he abruptly ended the call and returned to his desk.


Toshiko waited until lunchtime, before asking the rest of the team if they needed her to buy them a sandwich while she was out. Once safely outside the Town Hall, she flicked open her mobile and dialled.

“Johnson, can you speak?......I think I’ve found some files for the missing funds....”


Johnson had excused herself as her ‘phone rang, and was now speaking to the Torchwood Agency’s technology expert as she strolled along the corridor outside the office , looking for all the world as if she was making plans with friends for the weekend.

“I’m convinced it’s Hart...I managed to recover some of the deleted records today. But SOMEONE must be helping him. Anyone skilled in data recovery could surely have found the info...and the only  person over at the IT & Fraud Squad who’s been investigating him is Detective Grey.”

“You know IT isn’t my forte, Tosh- I can send you a link to get you in here and do your work, though. I’ll send it over now; by the looks of it this lot, they like a long lunch on a Friday. Now could be the time to get in there.”


Johnson was right- Johnson and “the old boys’ network” of Cardiff Fraud Squad headed off to “The Glendower Arms” shortly after she had pressed ‘send’ for a (mainly) liquid lunch ... In fact, lunch had turned into dinner, and looked like it may even become supper.


It was Friday, 5 pm, and, as Tosh had found out on her first day, it was the Chief Exec’s Office’s “pub outing day”. Over at “The Saracen’s Head” about half of the staff had made their way over to the pub, including Angharad, and they were all starting to relax. They’d all gathered in the Vault. The smokers were taking turns to go out into the “beer garden”, and Toshiko couldn’t help but notice that this included John Hart, although he was keeping a fair distance between himself and the staff as he seemed to be constantly answering his mobile, a serious look on his face.


If Tosh had been able to hear the conversation, she would have felt far from relaxed.

“I’m telling you, Grey, someone has accessed the hard drives!”

“It’s not possible. We’ve wiped everything. They’d have to have bloody Bill Gates or something to get in there.”

“Bollocks! The alerts you set have gone off!” Hart said under his breath.

“Yeah? Must be a false alarm. Who could have accessed the drives? Your lot are just a pile of civil servants- not exactly data recovery experts- especially after the defences I’ve put in.”

“Well, yeah....perhaps you’re right....”

“’Course I’m right, John. As soon as I found out what you were doing of course I put in every defence out there. I’m going to protect my investment, aren’t I?”  When his team had been assigned the investigation at Cardiff Council, Grey had soon seen who the culprit was, and then he’d started to think. And then he’d started to get greedy. He’d approached John Hart with a proposition.... ‘50/50, and I’ll set up firewalls into the hard drive and the main accounts systems...’ Detective Grey had said, ‘We can keep going until we’re at about a million each. Maybe more if we’re lucky!  What do you think?’

“Yeah...we got a new girl this week. Quiet. Good with the accounts software. Too good, perhaps. And the alerts only went off this week....” Hart trailed off.

“A plant?”

“Could be..”


“Toshiko Sato. She’s supposed to be a temp, but she’s far too good. I’m beginning to wonder..”

“Right. I’ll go back to the office and do a check. I won’t be missed if I’m quick. And then I’ll text you.”


Back at the police station, Grey’s checks drew a blank on ‘Toshiko Sato’. No addresses, no registration with temping agencies before this week.

He sent a text to Hart, before he headed back to the pub: U cud b rite. Follow her home. we need her address.


At both the “The Sacracen’s Head” and “The Glendower Arms” the staff of the Chief Exec’s Department and the Fraud Squad started to drift away at about 9 o’clock, making their ways home in various states of ‘wobbliness’.


Tosh walked home; her flat was in central Cardiff and only less than a mile away. But as she walked she felt as if she was being followed, despite the fact that whenever she turned back to look there was never anyone there. But still she heard footsteps.


End of part 1 





Title: "Jack's Angels"
Author: wanda1969
Rating: PG
Summary: Torchwood characters shoehorned into a rather unexciting Charlie's Angels adventure! No Charlie's Angels characters in this though!
A/N: This fic is  gwen-bashing. After a conversation where I worried that TW would turn into "Gwen's Angels" (god forgive!) I came up with this, instead, on Sunday afternoon (nothing on the telly!), as a minor showcase for Gwen's ineptitude....DOES THIS COUNT AS A CROSSOVER? 
I have never written fanfiction in my life, and this is completely unedited or corrected! So any mistakes are my own. It is purposely written in the TW fanfiction stylee....
I am also painfully aware that I have failed to write GOOD kick arse women- a bit like the writers of CoE- however I am not paid to be GOOD at this! Maybe next time... if there is a next time....


“Once upon a time, there were three very different little girls... who grew up to be three very different women. But they have three things in common: They're brilliant, they're beautiful and they work for me. My name is Jack.....”


Torchwood Villa was a large Victorian mansion in extensive gardens located in the most exclusive suburb on the outskirts of Cardiff; during the 19th Century this was where Wales’ wealthiest industrialists had chosen to build their homes. It was now owned by the reclusive American millionaire, Jack Harkness. He hadn’t always hidden from the public eye. At one time, he had been seen at every high profile party and charity event on the social circuit- it was at one of these events he had met (and subsequently married) the beautiful socialite Estelle. Happiness had been short-lived, though, and Estelle had died tragically after 3 happy years of marriage. Now, Jack ran the Torchwood Private Detective Agency, consulted by the rich and famous keen to keep their private lives and business just that- private. His investigators were a group of elite women known, in the ‘right’ circles, for their discretion....


“....... and I’ve already received letters of commendation and thanks and medals for the Order of Batavia from the Indonesian Prime Minister for your help in solving the case! Well done, Angels! You all must be tired after the flight back from Jakarta- I think you’ve all earned a well-deserved long weekend off....Go home! Get some rest! Have some fun- you know what I mean! I’ll see you all at noon on Tuesday- we already have another case, ” Jack’s voice addressed the 3 Angels sprawled on the 3 leather sofas in the library cum drawing room, which served as the briefing room for the Agency at Torchwood Villa.

 “Thanks Jack!”, the Angels smiled up at the CCTV camera, mounted high on the wall- they knew that their reclusive employer was watching them from somewhere in the world.

Gwen Williams, shifted on the sofa giving her best wide-eyed smile and showing off  her cleavage. She was an ex-WPC and the most recent recruit, chosen to replace Suzie- life with the Angels had proved too much for Suzie and she’d left 2 years previously. Gwen was the only married member of the team and, despite her recent marriage to Rhys, on first seeing Torchwood Villa she had tracked down as much information about the owner as possible. She had needed the help of her ex-colleagues at the Central Cardiff Police station- she had only been a “bobby on the beat” and research wasn’t her strong point. What she learned amazed her- the last owner listed at the Land Registry was one Jack Harkness. Prior to his marriage he had been one of Britain’s (if not the world’s) most eligible bachelors, known for his good looks and acute business sense. Business sense which had enabled him to amass millions by investing in some of the most successful and lucrative companies in the world. She told herself that, although she loved Rhys, Jack Harkness could offer her the life that she could most definately become accustomed to.....and it was only a matter of time before he came out of his self-imposed seclusion if she played her cards right.....

Ianto Jones, Jack’s right hand man and assistant, slumped in a large leather chair, behind a leather topped desk- he’d accompanied the Angels to Indonesia and it had been a hectic couple of weeks. He gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes towords the ceiling as Gwen grinned at the camera.

He wasn’t the only one- there was no love lost between Gwen and the two other Angels;  Toshiko Sato (Tosh for short) had been an internationally renowned computer specialist and general technical expert, and to add to her abilities she was also an expert in karate and aikido. Johnson (she was notoriously secretive about her personal life, and only Jack and Ianto knew her true Christian name) had worked for UNIT’s most skilled corps and been seconded at one time to MI6.

“Go home Angels- I’ll see you all on Tuesday. 12 pm sharp! Have a good weekend,” Jack’s voice said through the wall mounted speakers.

When she was sure that Jack was no longer listening, Gwen pulled herself to her feet from the sofa, looking at Tosh, Johnson and Ianto in turn before announcing “Well that’s me off, then, even if you three don’t have anything to get back home to! I ‘phoned Rhys when we landed and he’s preparing a romantic meal...lasagne, wine, candles...he’s missed me. Poor love, this job’s hard on him!”. Again, Ianto gritted his teeth before Gwen turned on her heel, a sway on her hips, shouting behind her, “See you all on Tuesday!”.

There was silence in the room as the door closed behind Gwen, before Johnson stood, followed by Tosh.

“Well, I guess I need to get home and get some rest, too. Need a lift, Tosh?”

“Thanks Johnson. I’d best get some work done on that tracking programme I started before we left. See you, Ianto”

“Have a good weekend, you two,” Ianto called as they headed for the door.

“You, too Ianto! And get some bloody sleep- you look bloody knackered!” Johnson said.

As soon as he heard the door close behind them, Ianto let out a tired sigh before he allowed his head to drop to the desk top. Sometimes he wondered what he was doing working  with the Angels- especially since Gwen’s arrival. A nice, quiet job at Cardiff library suddenly seemed very appealing.

He only lifted his head and leant back in his chair when he heard the door opening a few minutes later. He looked towards the door to see Jack there, arms folded and leaning against the door frame, smiling.

“Missed you,” Jack said quietly as he walked up behind Ianto and placed his hands on Ianto’s shoulders and then started to gently massage the stiff muscles. “God, you’re tense, Ianto!”

“You’d be bloody tense, too, if you’d just spent close to 20 hours on a ‘plane listening to Williams’ inane babbling. Added to that, she only went and pulled one of the guests in the hotel! Again! That was the last straw! That’s all I needed after nearly two weeks without sex- a room next to Gwen and another of her conquests!” Ianto replied tersely.

Jack chuckled. “Mm! She’s not the most subtle of the Angels is she?”

“You can say that again!”

“I blame recruiting her on you, you know” Jack chuckled again.

“And HOW exactly do you make that out, Sir?”

“Well, perhaps if you hadn’t been wearing my favourite red silk lined suit when you were interviewing her, I may have paid more attention to her responses. I thought she may be a bit more outgoing than the rest of the team- I just didn’t realise exactly how much MORE ‘outgoing’...!” Jack said as he thought back to Gwen’s interview and remembered that at the time he had been so transfixed with watching Ianto via the CCTV, that the interview had been a bit of a blur. “Yep, definately NOT one of my best recruitment decisions! Unlike you, of course....”

Ianto snorted out a quiet laugh.

Jack leant forward. “Now, what do you say to me running you a nice hot bath and seeing if we can’t sort out some of this...stiffness?” he smiled and whispered into Ianto’s ear, placing extra emphasis on the last word. “And we also have all weekend to see if we can work out some of your other frustrations....

“That’s the best bloody thing I’ve heard in two weeks!” Ianto moaned as Jack pulled him up from the chair.


It was half past noon on Tuesday and Toshiko Sato and Johnson sat on the sofas in the Torchwood briefing room, each enjoying a cup of Ianto’s Javan coffee- he’d picked up some specially roasted beans while they’d been on the case in Indonesia.

“Mm! This is excellent Ianto!” Johnson said in appreciation, before looking at her watch. “For Christ’s sake! Where IS she? We were supposed to start at noon!”

The door opened and Gwen breezed in cheerily. “Sorry I’m late, love!” she said looking over at Ianto. “I’ve been so tired this weekend and Rhys had the morning off- I couldn’t just leave him, he’s been so lonely these past couple of weeks” she continued as she sat down before smiling winningly at the CCTV camera- she knew Jack wouldn’t start the briefing until he knew they were all assembled. “Ooh, that coffee smells spectacular! Any chance of a cup, Ianto?”

“Sorry Gwen, we finished the pot, I’m afraid. I had it ready for 12”, he replied from his seat behind the desk as civilly as he could. He could have sworn he heard a barely suppressed growl from Johnson, and he himself managed to conceal a smirk. He had a sneaky liking for Johnson which he knew came from her simmering dislike for Gwen– but her years with UNIT had taught her to be a consummate professional, and she tolerated working with the ex-WPC. Tosh’s Japanese heritage and schooling, meant that her biggest reaction Gwen’s comments was usually an exasperated sigh.

“Good afternoon, Angels! You’re looking GOOD!”

Gwen preened as they all responded “Good afternoon, Jack!”

“Well, I hope you’re all refreshed? And I’m sure you’ll all be pleased to know that this case is a bit closer to home, and should mean that you’ll all be back at home after this weekend”

Gwen grumbled under her breath- she’d been hoping for another consecutive weekend with Rhys.

Jack ignored her and continued, “We’ve been contacted by Sheik Ahmedabadi, who owns the international Ahmedabadi hotel and spa chain.” Gwen’s eyes lit up at this comment.

“He owns the exclusive Buwith Health Spa, sometimes known as ‘The Farm’, on the Welsh borders, one of Europe’s most expensive health farms and cosmetic surgery clinics... and it seems that there have been a series of thefts from some of his most valued guests. And when you realise the calibre of these guests, it won’t surprise you to find out that this has included the theft of some very expensive jewellery. Not wanting bad publicity, the Sheik himself has compensated the guests, but his own private bodyguard have investigated and drawn a blank. Recently, however, there have been accusations over the theft of some very valuable..er..shall we call it “industrial information", and also political information. Our mission, as you have probably guessed, is to go undercover and find the culprit. At least most of you should be able to get some pampering after your success in Indonesia!”

“Ianto has prepared a set of files for you all with your fictitous identities and backstories, but to summarise: You, Johnson, will be booked into a room as Camilla Johnson, heiress. Toshiko, you  are booked into the suite next door with Ianto, as Toshiko and Ianto Jones.Your back story is that you and Ianto are the heads of the Sato Corporation, a corporation dealing with pacific rim shares and IT investment in China. Don’t worry, Tosh,” Jack laughed. “It’s a two bedroomed suite, so that ‘Mr Jones’ has a separate , quiet room to conduct his internet business!”

“No problem, Jack. I’m sure we can keep it professional,” Tosh joked.

“Finally, you, Gwen, will go undercover in the housekeeping department as a chambermaid.”

Gwen spluttered. “Really, Jack, are sure that’s the right role for me? After all, I can’t even hoover! I mean, surely Tosh or..or Johnson would be more suited to that? Rhys does all the cooking and cleaning at home! My jobs with the police and here, with you, are so important I never do housework!” she said indignantly. From the corner of his eye Ianto could see both Tosh and Johnson bristling at Gwen’s comments, as Gwen herself pouted in her seat on the settee.

“Gwen, it’s a very, very important role. And with your down to earth nature, and people skills from the police, you’re ideal. Remember, the housekeeping section  has access to all the rooms on a daily basis! Ianto has arranged with the Sheik’s international business manager for your duties to be minimised- subtlely, so you can investigate the other staff”.

In the next room, Jack smiled- this very weekend, when he and Ianto had discussed the plans, Ianto had downright refused to be “married” to Gwen. Or, indeed, Johnson (but that was for quite different reasons- he knew she enjoyed her privacy, and didn’t enjoy masquerading as his “wife”). To add to his argument, Ianto had also threatened to move into one of the many guestrooms at Torchwood Villa if Gwen was going to be “Mrs Jones” for the next few days- faced with this threat, Jack had more than happily agreed with Ianto.

“Right, Angels! Go home get some sleep, and read up on the facts of the case, and report back here at 8am- we are ALL setting out at 9am prompt; no exceptions,Gwen. And Ianto and I have sorted out suitable cars for your stay.”



The Farm            

By midday on Wednesday the Angels and Ianto had arrived at “The Farm”. It was a large Georgian stately home in rolling border countryside which had been converted by the Ahmedabadi chain around ten years ago and quickly developed a reputation as THE place for celebrities to have treatments- botox, implants and so on- without any of the gossip magazines or tabloids being any the wiser.


Ianto and Tosh had arrived in one of Jack’s extensive collection of cars, an Aston Martin, as befitted their status as the husband and wife team behind a successful business,  and   booked into their suite, scanning for any form of covert surveillance; for all they knew this could be a  high level inside job. The plan was to then spend the first half day exploring the Spa and Clinic, to observe the general set-up and the guests, especially some of the more long term or frequent guests. Ianto wasn’t really one for spa treatments, but he allowed himself to enjoy a massage followed by a manicure and a pedicure, before returning to his and Tosh’s suite on the pretext of catching up with developments at the Tokyo branch of the Sato Corporation. In reality, he was continuing with his research on the staff and guests at “The Farm”, while Tosh was getting to know some of the other guests in the ladies’ steam rooms and turkish baths.


Gwen had arrived at The Farm at 11am, and had quickly been introduced to the other houskeeping staff. They seemed to roughly be divided equally into 2 categories; local Welsh workers and Eastern European workers (some of them students, others qualified professionals making enough of a good wage to send money back to their respective countries when the considerable tips from the guests were added in). She had gossiped with them all, but most of the local workers were school leavers and didn’t seem to have the capabilities to be involved in high level jewellery or industrial espionage. The European workers were a different matter on that score, but were dedicted to their work in order to fund their families back home or their future careers.

By the time it came round to the end of the day, she thanked the Gods that today she had only been shadowing the other workers – she was NOT looking forward to tomorrow when her shifts would start in earnest. It would mean an early start and hard work. She inwardly cursed the Torchwood Agency - especially when she thought of Johnson, Tosh and Ianto enjoying their five star stay- as she was shown to a small (but by no means dingy or squalid) room in the staff quarters which was reserved for workers who didn’t live nearby. She was also still a bit miffed that she had been allocated the rusty Peugeot 206....


Meanwhile, Johnson spent the afternoon in the gym after booking into Room 11. Always athletic, the physical (not to mention, mental) challenges had been one of the major draws to undercover and special operations work,  whether it was with the Torchwood Agency or UNIT, and she loved mixing with like minded people. She chatted to the personal trainers and other gym users; all seemed genuine and the fitness professionals were just too dedicated to their jobs to put them in jeopardy!


Toshiko returned to the suite, only to see the sitting room empty; Ianto was probably resting in the smaller of the two bedrooms. She closed the door to the room as silently as possible, and turned back towards the sitting room. It was only then that she heard Ianto’s voice from the bedroom, where he was on the telephone.

“Of course I miss you.......................you know I do, especially after 2 bloody weeks away... ”

She smiled. She and Ianto were friendly, but not overly so, and she knew Ianto had lost his fiancee, Lisa, shortly before coming to work for Jack. Well, it seemed he had found someone else at last!

“....No...................No. Nothing as yet. Tosh had already run background checks on the staff and guests, and I’ve just been doing some further research......................Well, we’ll meet up with Johnson at dinner.................No, we’ll pretend it’s a coincidence........old friends who haven’t seen each other for ages...............”

Tosh’s smile turned into a frown- what the hell did Ianto think he was doing? Talking about the case to his girlfriend?

“...well, as far as I’m concerned, you know I want this case wrapped up as soon as possible, so I can get home to you.................well, I’d hardly say it was my fault.......It’s you who keeps accepting cases which involve me coming along with the Angels, Jack......”

At this, Tosh’s jaw dropped open as her brain put 2 and 2 together- Ianto was seeing Jack! God, she hadn’t seen that one coming! Suddenly, her inner self laughed. If only Gwen knew! For two years she had had to put up with Gwen pouting and preening at that bloody CCTV camera (at Jack!) at briefings, purposely wriggling at the camera in those low cut tops and skin tight trousers, and all the while she had a boyfriend, now husband, at home. No, she would keep Ianto and Jack’s secret- she respected  Ianto too much to get cheap revenge.

She turned, and loudly opened the suite door and even more loudly closed it.

“Hi, Ianto are you there! I’m back!”

Ianto emerged from the bedroom; he’d obviously rung off as soon as he’d heard the door open.

“Hi Tosh. Let’s get ready for dinner and meet up with Johnson- see what we’ve all found out.”


Tosh and Ianto entered the bar for pre-dinner drinks. They were an elegant couple; she in an understated black V-necked dress and pearls, he in well-fitting dark trousers with a deep red silk shirt with matching tie a few shades deeper. She looked him up and down admiringly, and suddenly became aware that she’d never really looked at him before; he really was quite stunning. The looks from the other women in the bar told her that she was not alone in these thoughts.

They both spotted Johnson at the bar with a Perrier water.

“Oh, my God, Tosh! Is that Camilla!?” Ianto said loudly enough, but not too loudly, for the staff and other patrons to register the couple’s surprise.

“Fancy seeing you here, Camilla! What a surprise- You hardly need the health farm treatment! How are you? And how is your brother? I haven’t seen him since Cannes last year,” Toshiko cried as she and Ianto reached the bar.

“Oh, MY GOD! Lovely to see you!” Johnson intoned as the three greeted each other with several ostentatious ‘air kisses’, before retiring to a quiet table to ‘catch up’ whilst their dinner table (now for three) was prepared.


The table was secluded and the three ‘old friends’ had managed to discuss their findings.

“...so to summarise,” Johnson said, “the guests and staff seem kosher. The only place we haven’t had time to visit yet is the clinic. Which, from my research, is very interesting. The medical consultant is one Dr Owen Harper. Excellent qualifications, worked in Harley Street before coming here, but a bit of a wide boy and ladies man- loves the limelight; you know, trips to Mustique and so on. You know, he even comes to work in a Ferrari...and apparently owns a Bugatti...”

“Ah, yes.....” murmured Ianto, “He’s definately well paid, but all my information points to him living well beyond his means...”

Tosh looked at the other two as Johson continued, “Well, I have a consultation booked with him for 11am tomorrow.... let’s see what I can find out.”


By the mid evening, Gwen was well and truly bored. One of the other staff had shown her a staff room just down the corridor from her quarters, so she decided to check it out.

As she entered, she rolled her eyes- the room looked well and truly deserted. But it had a television, so she looked around for the remote control. It was then that she noticed the slim, wiry man in a white coat sat in the corner on a low, comfortable chair, his legs stretched out and crossed on the coffee table in front of him, a glass in his hand. As her eyes roamed down his legs, she noted the half empty bottle of Glenmorangie near his feet.


“And hello to you! Dr Owen Harper. And you are?” he slurred, eyes looking her up and down.

“Gwen. Gwen Willliams. Just started today.”




Some hours later, Gwen let out an exhausted sigh as she rolled off Dr Owen Harper, and then reached for the bottle of Glenmorangie on the bedside table next to the small bed in her staff bedroom.

“You don’t seem like a typical chambermaid,” Owen said.

“Well, you know, hard times at the moment.....global recession and all that, bills to pay....”. She passed the bottle of Scotch to Owen after taking a swig.

“What d’you used to do?”

Gwen wrakked her brains for something impressive. “Y’ know....investment- stocks shares. See how that ended up......had to come back to Wales. Not much work round here for City traders”

“I know the feeling....half this lot can only just afford their Botox these days. As soon as I can get out of this place, I’m out of here. Hate the bloody countyside, and this place is in the middle of nowhere. Sheep bloody everywhere.”

“Yeah!” she laughed. “So, what’s your plan?”

“Got some....investments, shall we call ‘em? When I.....cash them in.... I’m off! Sun, sea, servants- here I come!”

“Where you off to then?”

“Anywhere equatorial!” he smiled.

There was silence as they both took a drink from the bottle.

“So, tomorrow- your first day on the rooms, then?”

Gwen nodded.

“You’re obviously a bit too good for that! Bet you’re used to this lifestyle more than half the tossers here.”

Gwen took that as a compliment. “Yeah, but needs must.”

“What time you up?”

“Bloody 5.30!” she giggled.

He  grabbed the bottle off Gwen, placed it on the bedside table and, after a repeat of their earlier activities, when Gwen was asleep, he gently eased himself out of bed, dressed and pocketed the access all areas pass-card that she’d carelessly left out just next to the Scotch.





Ch 3

Day 2 at the Farm.

Gwen knocked on the door of suite 12 on Thursday morning, only to be answered by her colleagues, Toshiko Sato and Ianto Jones. Luckily she hadn’t had to admit that she’d lost the pass-card yet. As a new worker, she was working in a pair with another chambermaid.

“Housekeeping Services?”

“Yes please, do come in,” said Ianto, ignoring her misarable tone.

Once the door was closed the three sat down started to talk, with Gwen first complaining loudly that she shoulddn’t have been the one assigned to the Housekeeping section. Another knock announced the arrival of Johnson.

“...So, all in all, the main lead at the moment is Dr Owen Harper,” said Johnson.

“Nope, definately not! Met him in...” Gwen paused, “..the staff room last night. Seemed lovely. Very genuine...... ”

Ianto rolled his eyes and lifted his eyebrows looking skywards, “Unless that man has won the bloody National Lottery, how the hell does he afford a Ferrari and a Bugatti? Not to mention the holidays?” After having been on several missions with Gwen, he just knew that, yet again, Gwen was completely blinkered when it came to their male suspects.


11 am came and ‘Camilla Johnson’ was shown into the consulting room of Dr Owen Harper.

“Sit down, Miss Johnson,” he said cheerily. “And what can we do for you?”

“Well, I was just thinking... a bit of a lift. I’ve been looking a bit.....tired. Y’know, ......I just LOOK tired. I don’t know, I might need a bit of a lift....or Botox, or something....”

“Ah, Mrs Johnson,” Dr Harper leant over her as he inspected her face and said in an almost predatory way, “YOU need nothing at all...”

Then Johnson noticed something change- Dr Harper was staring intently at her necklace. Ianto had brought it along, and insisted that she wear it for her consultation. It was a spectacularly cut 10 carat diamond suspended on  a chain of smaller diamonds.

“......Actually, perhaps we could do something for you....We have a rather, new, effective treatment-similar to Botox, but it’s best if you sleep it off down here... 4pm OK with you? It should only take an hour before you feel right as rain. You won’t even feel groggy  when you wake up at 5”


“Well, hi there, Gwen Williams! And how are you this fine day?” Dr Owen Harper, was overjoyed to see Gwen in the staff canteen this lunchtime- he was hoping to double check his information on the heiress, Camilla Johnson. “Busy day?”

“Haha, you know...no rest for the wicked! There’s not much exciting about being a chambermaid! How about you? And more to the point....are you free later....?” Gwen put on what she thought was her most appealing doe-eyed look.

“MMm....it’s a good day today. Last consultation at 4pm...patient out at 5-5.30. Should be free about 7....if you fancy meeting up for a bit of a..chat?”

“Oh, I’d love to Owen!”

“Yep..she’s a bit of an odd one, the 4 o’clock appointment..” Owen tried to sound casual as he spoke. “Reckon she’s a bit frigid- didn’t respond to the Harper charm. In fact, you probably do her room. Number 11- Camilla Johnson?”

Gwen stifled a giggle at the mention of her team mate. She’d always thought that Johnson was somewhat asexual. Even if she didn’t know Johnson that well, she could testify that there was no evidence of ‘extra curricular’ activity in Room 11.

“Wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she was frigid from what I’ve seen! That woman has no sign of friends in that room, never mind anything else.”

“OK....well, see you at 7 in the staff room?”

“I’ll be there!” Gwen smiled excitedly, turning to return to her shift, and completely olivious to the fact that Dr Harper was more interested in extracting information about the guests than their 7 o’clock tryst.....


Johnson reported about her consultation to the others.

“So, that’s how he does it! If he can’t get the stuff while they’re in the spa, he anaesthetises them and then just takes the goods while they’re knocked out!”

“Right- we leave the copy of the necklace up here, you have the “super” Botox.” Ianto said, but Johnson looked more than worried.

“My body is a fucking TEMPLE to fitness and health and you want that wanker to knock me out and Botox me??!” she hissed.

“Calm down!” Tosh calmed. “There’s another three of  us here, Gwen’s shift is over by then, and no other robbery victims have reported any ill-effects...”

“OK, OK...If Ihave to...!”


At 3.30pm, Johnson turned up for her 4 O’clock appointment and was checked over by the clinical assistants. As the assistants had advised, she’d removed all jewellery and make-up.

She was  shown into the treatment room and laid down onto the treatment bed. As Dr Harper slid the needle into her arm and pressed the plunger, she felt herself drift into a happy and relaxed state.... before she knew it, she was  in a deep sleep.


In room 11, Toshiko Sato and Gwen Williams waited in the ensuite. Gwen had, again, been late for the stake out, so they had not had time to brief her on the details of exactly who the suspect was.

‘This is all very inconvenient,’ thought Gwen, ‘three hours to sort this out, before I meet Owen....’

They’d both changed into more suitable clothing (streamlined black trousers and tops) for the set-up, but Tosh couldn’t help noticing Gwen constantly checking her mascara in the en suite’s mirror. She let out an exasperated sigh, as she tapped her earpiece.

“Anything yet, Ianto?”

“Nope, Tosh...mind you, Johnson only went under ten minutes ago.” He was in the suite next door but had set up a small surveillance camera to check the corridor outside.

Gwen continued to re-apply her eyeliner and lipstick and Tosh sighed again.

“Don’t worry, Tosh,” Ianto said, “I have every belief that there is NO super Botox, and no danger- all Harper does is knock the patients out, and then lets psychology do the rest. They’ve been charged for the treatment, ergo it works in the patients’ minds.”

Tosh didn’t like to point out that her sigh hadn’t been caused by worry about Johnson, as she observed Gwen adjusting the trousers which were tucked into her 5 inch high stilletoes. ‘Five inch high stilletoes!!!’ Tosh thought, “This isn’t bloody ‘Ritzy’s’ nightclub, Cardiff!”

Before she had time to think further on the unsuitability of Gwen’s stilletoes, she heard Ianto through the earpiece- “He’s here- get ready!”

Tosh looked at Gwen and put a finger up to her lips as she drew her gun and flicked off the light above the mirror...”Sshh!”

Even as Gwen looked her uncomprehendingly, Tosh heard the door open and then close. She held up her gun-free hand indictaing that when she let it drop, it was the signal for her them to confront the suspect.

As Harper was convinced that Camilla Johnson was here alone, he took a cursory glance at the en suite, the door of which was slightly ajar. It was dark inside the bathroom, so he continued into the room and towards the dressing table.

As Dr Harper rifled through the drawers and held up a copy of the necklace, Tosh ran from the bathroom, pointing her gun at him.

“Hands up, Harper!”

Owen Harper, tunrned- as he saw the gun he dropped the necklace onto the table top and raised his hands.

Gwen chose this moment to follow, and she spotted Owen, hands raised, Tosh’s gun trained on him.

“Owen?” she questioned. In her surprise, one of her stilleto heels caught on the thick carpet and she stumbled forward. Before she could stop herself, she had fallen forward hitting her head on the base of the room’s wardrobe.

Before Tosh could avert her gaze from Dr Harper, the door to the room burst open and Ianto entered, stun-gun in hand, stepping over Gwen to join Toshiko.

“Right Harper! Stay still or I WILL stun you! That’s if ‘my wife’ doesn’t shoot you first... Keep your hands where we can see them...”

Harper let out a resigned sigh as he nodded, lowered his hands while Ianto walked forwards, produced a pair of handcuffs from his pocket and cuffed the medic.


After the police had cautioned Owen Harper, and discreetly led him out through the staff quarters, the three members of the Torchwood Agency gathered in suite 12. The police doctor had declared Johnson fit and well; as Ianto had suspected, there was no ‘special botox’- patients were just sedated, for whatever treatment, for long enough for Harper to enter their rooms and take what he needed to fund his ‘retirement plan’. Gwen had been diagnosed with concussion and was sleeping it off next door in Johnson’s room.

“Nope, Ianto. There’s no excuse! We have to speak to Jack! This is the straw that broke the camel’s back!” Harper had been right- there was no way that you could describe Johnson of being ‘groggy’ even after her experiences with the sedative.

“One,” she continued, “she slept with the suspect- for Christ’s sake- we’ve only been here for a day and a half! Two, she’s so stupid that she even allowed him to steal her computerised pass key! With which the suspect then proceeded to attempt to rob my room while I was bloody drugged!”

“Three,” Tosh joined in, “she was so late, as usual, for the stake-out that we didn’t have time to brief her. Not that she would have taken any notice. When the doctors were checking her out, all she was worried about was making sure she kept her rendezvous with Harper at 7 tonight!!!! And whether her eyeliner had smudged!!!!” Tosh’s voice had steadily been rising to levels that Ianto didn’t even know it could reach, even after 4 years of working together.

“And to top it off,” she persisted sarcastically, “You weren’t locked in that bloody en-suite with her- the only thing she was interested in was applying her mascara and some ‘lippy’. So much so, that when she deigned to join me in the apprehension of Harper, she got one of those bloody stilletoes caught in the carpet and knocked herself out!!”

“I know, I know,” Ianto sighed. “Jack’s well aware of some of the issues, but we still have a problem.......If we sack her it could put the Torchwood Agency’s entire private undercover detection services in jeopardy. She could be a loose cannon- we could all be exposed....”

Johnson looked thoughtful, and it wasn’t just the side effects of the sedative....

“When  I worked for UNIT, not only did they have ways of making people talk, they had ways of making them NOT talk....ways of making them forget. A drug, Retcon was one....If I call some favours in quickly, we can tell bloody Rhys it was amnesia from the stilleto incident...” she mused. Tosh nodded enthusiastically.

“Right, I’ll call Jack. Johnson, make some enquiries....”



Several days later, Jack and Ianto were sitting on the sofa in Torchwood Villa’s private sitting room, glasses of wine in hand.

“Well, not exactly how I wanted things to go.”

“It’s not your fault, Jack, we tried to train her. We all tried to train her. Perhaps this should be a lesson. There’s no reason to hide away anymore, Jack. You need to get more involved. More involved with the Angels, more involved in the recruitment, the training. You really need to meet the team- whoever we end up recruiting as a replacement for Gwen.”

“You’re right, as always. I guess I just got into the habit of not wanting to meet people after Estelle...,” Jack put an arm around Ianto’s shoulders and pulled him closer. “How about we start next week?”



Tosh and Johnson were slumped on the sofas in the briefing room chatting animatedly, sipping at their cups of Ianto’s Javan coffee. Ianto smiled gently from behind the desk- none of them had realised exactly how divisive Gwen had been to the team, and he was amazed that without Gwen monopolising the conversation, they had all been able to chat for the last half hour.

He hauled himself up from his chair and sat on the arm of the remaining sofa.

“Well, I know I promised a briefing today, but I’d just like to say that there’s no need to worry- no cases have been booked this week.” Ianto smiled and paused looking towards the door, “It’s just that things are going to be a little different round here.”

As if on cue, the door opened. The two remaining Angels, turned to look at the stranger who walked into the room.

Johnson, and particularly Tosh, looked him up and down. He was tall, dark haired and good looking with piercing blue eyes and a more than attractive smile- maybe late thirties, or early forties, thought Tosh. Things were definately looking up; a male Angel, they both concluded silently.

The man walked up to Ianto and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hi, Angels- you really are looking fabulous today....Let me introduce myself- I’m Jack,” he said and smiled. “And, as Ianto has probably said, things are going to be a bit different ‘round here since the...er..departure..of Gwen.”

Both women’s eyes were wide and their eyes mouths were open.

Jack laughed. “Nice to meet you both- at last!” he said walking over and shaking their hands, and then he moved away to sit on the vacant sofa.

Ianto had magically produced a cup of coffee, which he handed to Jack before again taking up his place on the sofa arm. Tosh noticed the way that Jack paused briefly before taking the coffee, with a slight lingering touch to Ianto’s fingers. No wonder Ianto had missed him, she thought, thinking of the telephone converstation she’d overheard. And thank goodness Gwen had never seen Jack! Tosh had been far from oblivious to the way Gwen had looked longingly at the CCTV camera at briefings, even though she  had no idea what Jack looked like. 

“...And I want us ALL to be involved directly in recruitment, lest we make a similar mistake...” Jack laughed again. “Although I still say it was all Ianto’s fault- he should never have worn that god damned red silk lined suit at Gwen’s interview!”

Thinking back to dinner at The Farm, Tosh realised exactly what Jack meant.......red really WAS Ianto’s colour....




September 2012

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